Beijing, Jan. 23 (Yu Wang): "Swimming, fitness, find out." I don’t know when, you can always hear such a voice at street intersections. Behind it, in addition to countless gyms springing up like mushrooms after rain in recent years, it also reflects the rise of the national fitness boom. However, correspondingly, although more and more people walk into the gym, it is more common to give up halfway. Why on earth is this happening?

　　According to the White Paper on Fitness Industry in China in 2016-2017 published by relevant institutions, the fitness population in China has increased at an average annual rate of 10% in recent years, and the awareness of national fitness has become stronger and stronger. Fitness has gradually become one of the public’s concerns at present and in the future, and national fitness has become a trend.

　　At the same time, the gym has become the choice of more people with fitness needs. According to the Report on Market Demand Forecast and Investment Prospect of Gym Industry in China from 2017 to 2022 released by Zhiyan Consulting, the size of China’s gym market will approach 90 billion in 2017, and it is expected to maintain a compound annual growth rate of 12% in the next five years, reaching 123 billion yuan in 2020. In addition, according to statistics, there are currently 37,627 gymnasiums in China, the number of which has surpassed that of the United States.

　　Why do gyms get more and more people’s favor? Some experts said: On the one hand, gyms provide rich equipment to meet the needs of different groups of people, and can provide different choices for different body parts that need exercise; On the other hand, commercial gyms are generally equipped with professional coaches for guidance. While enhancing physical fitness, you can gain a good figure and get the maximum effect in limited leisure time, which is in line with the pain points of the current urban population.

　　However, when people apply for a fitness card at a high price after careful choice, how to develop the habit of continuous fitness has become an oncoming problem for many newcomers in the gym. In the face of day-to-day exercise, strict diet control, laziness or even giving up has become a common phenomenon of this group of people. Some insiders revealed to the reporter of Zhongxin. com: "At present, 70% members of the gym can’t develop the habit of continuous fitness."

　　Wang Qian, who works in Beijing, is one of these 70%. A year ago, she was attracted by the gym leaflets distributed downstairs by the company, and she applied for a fitness year card not far from the company. However, after insisting on going there several times, Wang Qian found that fitness was something that she found hard to accept. "The process of fitness is very boring and tiring, and it has a high control over diet."

　　Wang Qian, a company project, has been very busy for a month, and she finds it hard to summon up the courage to go into the gym. Every time after work, Wang Qian will rush through the gym, and in her spare time, she will find various reasons to convince herself. Over time, Wang Qian completely lost interest in the gym.

　　Wang Qian told reporters that if she hadn’t tidied up her purse some time ago, she would have forgotten that she had ever had a fitness card. As for why she wanted to go to the gym at the beginning, she had already thrown it away, so without any hesitation, she threw this fitness card into the depths of the drawer.

　　Although friends around me mentioned this matter, they all felt sorry for her money hitting Shui Piao, but Wang Qian, who has always claimed to be a "Buddhist youth", said: "Why do you have to embarrass yourself and do things you don’t want to do?" After the fitness card expired, she naturally did not choose to renew it.

　　As the owner of a gym with thousands of people in Beijing, Qiao Liang believes that the reason why many people give up is that their beliefs are not firm enough. "In fact, fitness will not only bring about qualitative changes to the body, but also temper the mind." He said, "To be able to walk into the gym and stick to it, this person’s will and mentality must be very good. Relatively speaking, if he can’t stick to it, there are impetuous factors in it, except subconsciously."

　　Qiao Liang revealed that according to statistics, the annual renewal rate of the gym he runs is less than 20%. Apart from factors such as changes in the living environment of members, this data also reflects that there are still many people who lack long-term fitness plans. "The number of people who can persist in one year is even less." Qiao Liang said that this situation is widespread in Beijing.

　　To measure whether a gym is professional, besides the number and types of equipment and the variety of courses, the professionalism of fitness instructors is also the most important thing to inspect. Undeniably, the fitness instructor not only plays a multiplier role for the bodybuilders, but also provides them with the function of accompanying and supervising. There are also more than one bodybuilder who told reporters that their ability to keep exercising has a lot to do with the fitness coach.

　　"Fitness is to eat better things." Yang Jing said that what the coach said to her on the first day of fitness became the biggest motivation for her to grit her teeth and enter the gym every day.

　　As a new media editor, Yang Jing, who graduated only two years ago, not only developed the habit of sedentary due to work, but also "swelled up" at a speed visible to the naked eye. "My salary has not risen much, but my weight has risen a lot. Every time I go home on holiday, my family will sigh that I am fat again."

　　At the same time, knowing that she doesn’t have strong enough perseverance, whenever she makes up her mind to step into the gym, how to stick to it has repeatedly become the main reason why she flinches before "getting a foot in the door". Finally, six months ago, following the advice of a friend, Yang Jing got his first fitness card and hired a personal trainer.

　　But in the first class, the strictness of the coach made Yang Jing, who didn’t like sports since childhood, suffer enough. It never occurred to her that a coach who usually looks polite can almost be described as "heartless" in every class. "There are 20 opening jumps in each group, and I have to do four groups. I have no strength when I sit in the third group, but the coach will only let me rest for a while and then finish the rest." Yang Jing said that "being lazy" became a forbidden area that she couldn’t reach in the gym.

　　High-intensity training courses often make Yang Jing ache all over the next day and can hardly get out of bed. But what made her collapse even more was that when she told the coach about this and hoped that the coach could reduce the workload of the next training as appropriate, all she got was "just practice more." So she had to bite the bullet and walk into the gym again as planned.

　　Nevertheless, Yang Jing has to admit that the existence of the coach has benefited him a lot. "If there is no coach, I can’t complete these movements at all, and I may give up halfway." Yang Jing said frankly that the coach’s company and encouragement can eliminate her fatigue and boredom during exercise.

　　At the same time, the coach also told Yang Jing to write down her progress and the whole fitness process, because it can give you a sense of accomplishment, and help you understand how far and how fast she ran or walked, how much calories she burned, and how much progress she made. Use these to challenge herself and set new goals.

　　Today’s Yang Jing will consciously go to the gym to exercise even if there is no coach’s supervision. "Sometimes I don’t go to the gym for a few days, and I always feel uncomfortable without anything." After every party, Yang Jing would go to the gym for a run and sweat, which she said would reduce her "guilt".

　　On the question-and-answer platform of Zhihu, one question asked, "How do you stick to fitness after you get a fitness card?" The Q&A has been read by nearly 500,000 people and caused extensive discussion. Some netizens said, "If it’s so painful to insist, don’t go." Some netizens also said: "I have gained attitude and courage to face life from fitness. So I insist and hope that I will pursue it to the end. " "It is worthwhile to plan ahead for health, no matter how difficult it is."

　　Some people think that the gym exists to meet those who need to exercise but have no equipment and suitable environment, so they should become a bodybuilder first, and then they will become a bodybuilder who needs a gym. Qiao Liang is deeply impressed by this.

　　He believes that bodybuilders should change their cognition from "I have to go to the gym" to "I want to go to the gym". The key to "insisting on going to the gym" is not whether to go to the gym or not, but whether you think it is important to improve your physical fitness from the bottom of your heart and actively adopt different training methods to strengthen yourself. "

　　Five years ago, when Jia Xuan first stepped into the gym, he was shocked by the intense atmosphere in front of him and countless muscular bodybuilders. Since he was weak, he also hoped to become healthier through fitness.

　　In order to avoid exercising aimlessly in the gym like a headless fly, he made a rigorous fitness plan for himself from the first day and approved it every 4-6 weeks. "The information is all found online, and setting a plan and goal can help me stick to it better."

　　Jia Xuan believes that it is also very important to have a "comrade-in-arms" who fights side by side during the fitness process. "Going to fitness with friends will help to better implement the fitness plan and support and encourage each other." Jia Xuan said, "There will be situations where friends compete secretly, but this is also a competition with themselves. Over time, they have developed the habit of continuous breakthrough."

　　What impressed Jia Xuan most was that the gym at that time was not large, and when there were many people, there would be many people queuing to use one equipment. When he lamented that there were so many people, an "old gun" in the gym told him, "Nothing, you will never see most people again in a few weeks." Sure enough, most of them went every other day to every three days, then every five days, and never showed up again.

　　"I don’t think that the so-called insistence on going to the gym and running can really bring me a sense of superiority or enhance my attractiveness. For me, when the novelty of fitness fades, it is more a lifestyle and habit that is naturally formed for health." Jia Wei said. (At the request of the interviewee, some characters in the text are pseudonyms) (End)

　　On the morning of the 2 nd, Ms. Lin, who lives in a community in Longchi Street, Liuhe District, Nanjing, went out early in the morning and found a teenager in school uniform squatting in the grass next to the unit building; When Ms. Lin came home at 5 o’clock in the evening, she still saw the child sitting there, with almost no change in posture. She called him and he ignored him. The abnormal behavior of the teenager worried Ms. Lin, and she called the police for help. The police arrived at the scene and learned that the teenager was a junior three student, and his uncle lived in this building. On that day, he stayed here in cut class for one day to play mobile games on his uncle’s WiFi, which made the mother who came to the scene angry with Ms. Yu.

　　The reporter’s investigation found that the popularity of smart phones and children becoming "mobile phone controllers" have become a common worry for many families. Yangzi Evening News All-Media Reporter Ren Guoyong Correspondent Lu Gongxuan

　　A crazy teenager.

　　Sit in the grass and rub my uncle’s wireless network to play games.

　　Cut class, a teenager, squatted down to numb his legs and feet one day.

　　"There is a big boy I don’t know downstairs who has been sitting in the grass all day. I don’t care if I call him. Come and have a look." At 5 o’clock in the evening on the 2 nd, Ms. Lin reported the police.

　　After receiving the police, the police of Longchi police station arrived at the scene to check that a teenager was sitting downstairs in a unit of the community. He sat under his schoolbag cushion and held his mobile phone intently.

　　"He has been sitting here in this posture. I saw him when I went out in the morning. I didn’t expect him to be here when I came back in the evening. I don’t know what happened. I called him and he ignored me." Ms. Lin said that she noticed that the child was also enthusiastic and worried about what bad things would happen to him.

　　The policeman walked next to the teenager, and he was still absorbed in playing with his mobile phone, unaware that the policeman was approaching. The policeman patted him on the shoulder, and the boy suddenly got up, but he almost fell down because of numbness in his legs and feet. "What are you doing here?" In the face of the police’s question, the child bowed his head and did not answer, only saying that he had something to do.

　　After repeated inquiries by the police, he said that his surname was Cao, and he was in the third grade of a nearby middle school. His uncle lived in this building, and he squatted here to play games on the Internet with his uncle’s WiFi. "I didn’t do anything bad, I just wanted to surf the Internet." He said.

　　Subsequently, the police contacted Cao’s mother. Cao’s mother was surprised when she received the phone call, saying that she didn’t expect her son to go to cut class to play games, and spent a day squatting downstairs in her brother’s house for surfing the Internet.

　　Soon, Cao’s mother rushed to the scene angrily, and immediately scolded him for being unprincipled again and again in order to surf the Internet. Cao’s mother said that her son secretly bought a mobile phone with a birthday red envelope given to him by his elders a month ago. After the parents found out, they criticized him and advised him to return the mobile phone, which was awkward. Later, the parents confiscated the mobile phone, but I didn’t expect him to take it away from his family and come here to play. "He must know that my brother went out these days before he came here to surf the internet. The senior high school entrance examination is coming soon, and he is still so confused."

　　The police also persuaded and educated Cao, and Cao said that he would make up his mind to quit playing mobile phone addiction and prepare for the exam carefully. The police also reminded Cao’s mother to communicate with her children more often, divert his attention from playing mobile phones, and persuade her in time if she has bad habits. After the exchange between the two sides, Cao followed his mother home.

　　Parents’ troubles

　　Smashed the phone, and both girls cried sadly.

　　Do you want to buy it for your daughter now? Mom is very entangled.

　　"I want to use regret to describe my current mood. Now I am in a dilemma!" Ms. Zhang from Laifeng Community in Nanjing told the Yangzi Evening News reporter that her daughter had bought a children’s mobile phone in order to facilitate contact, and she could only answer the phone.

　　But later, my daughter always said that all her classmates used smart phones, and they used smart phones to check their study materials online. Ms. Zhang was hesitant at first. After discussing with her husband, she felt that the times were developing and her daughter’s ideas were reasonable. It might be helpful to use smart phones to access information. Later, I bought my daughter a smart machine with a price of more than 1,000 yuan. After using the smart phone, my daughter quickly played on WeChat and Weibo.

　　"We think there is nothing wrong with sending WeChat Weibo, but now the situation is getting worse and worse." Ms. Zhang said that her daughter’s grades plummeted and the teacher even found her playing mobile phones in class.

　　After discovering the problem, Ms. Zhang began to control her daughter to use her mobile phone. But when my daughter does her homework, she asks her for a mobile phone to consult the information from time to time, but sometimes she finds that she is using QQ or WeChat.

　　Ms. Zhang asked her daughter how to chat? The daughter’s answer is to exchange learning problems with her classmates. In this way, the daughter’s learning efficiency is getting lower and lower. Not long ago, I found my daughter playing small games until the early hours of the morning, and there were novels in the trace of mobile phone search. I clicked and found that my daughter was reading a "messy" article. In this way, the mother and daughter quarreled many times for the mobile phone, and in the end, she smashed the mobile phone.

　　"I smashed my daughter’s mobile phone, and both girls cried. She ignored me for two weeks, and I was heartbroken." Ms. Zhang said that recently, her daughter repeatedly assured her to study hard, proposed to buy a mobile phone again and promised to use it only for consulting materials and communicating with classmates. "I am very entangled, I am afraid to buy it for her, and she can’t control it." Ms. Zhang said.

　　Online small survey

　　Children are forbidden to use smart phones? Not all are objections.

　　In two examples, children have become "mobile phone controllers", which annoys parents. So, at the moment when smart phones are so popular, should children use smart phones? The reporter made a small survey through his circle of friends.

　　Should primary and secondary school students use smart phones?

　　The online survey lasted for one hour, and 51 people voted.

　　A: About 84% are against it.

　　Some parents who indicate the reasons think that underage students are addicted to their opponents’ opportunities, which are difficult to control, and most of them are used for entertainment.

　　B There is one case in which the parents fully agree with the opinion.

　　This parent believes that smart phones are the general trend, otherwise they will be out of touch with society.

　　C about 14% supported by conditions.

　　This part of parents believe that children need to attach conditions to the use of smart phones. If they want to use them, they must know what their children’s purpose is, and it is ok to check the study materials.

　　Teacher’s opinion

　　Every time a parent-teacher meeting is held, many parents complain to the teacher. Children can’t live without mobile phones all day. Should they use them? How can I quit cell phone addiction? Jiang bo, a senior teacher and grade leader of a senior middle school in Nanjing, said — —

　　Even using a mobile phone to check information has great disadvantages.

　　Jiang bo thinks that the only advantage for students to use smart phones is that they are easy to contact.

　　"Access to information is a cover. I found that the questions and answers of some so-called learning software are copied from each other, and there are many mistakes and typos. Students who are used to finding answers online lose the ability to think independently. I strongly appeal to students from primary school to high school to stay away from smartphones." Teacher jiang bo thinks that students who are used to finding answers through the Internet will have a decline in their habit and ability to use reference books, and their learning efficiency is very poor. Usually, they click on a window and another one pops up on the Internet. Students are so curious that they can’t control their reading that they can’t concentrate on completing their homework. Indulging in mobile phones is not good for health, typically, the eyesight drops, and you can only see farther if you look up. Holding mobile phones all day long causes some students to have poor face-to-face communication skills; Some parents are afraid that their children will be out of touch with society without using smart phones. This kind of worry is unnecessary. Mobile phones, like computers, can be learned as soon as they are learned, and there is no need to hold them every day. The mobile phone network has a search function, so it is difficult for parents to monitor whether the content they read is healthy or not.

　　Parents should set a good example for children to quit cell phone addiction.

　　How to quit cell phone addiction? Teacher jiang bo said that depending on the situation, some parents are strong and radical. If they don’t agree to their children’s demands, they will not agree, confiscate their mobile phones and shut down the Internet. Some students have problems in their early education, and their parents have not established an authoritative image at home, and they can’t do the three chapters of the contract. Even if their mobile phones are confiscated and the network is cut off, the effect is not good. Some parents can’t stand the soft grinding and hard foam, but still return their mobile phones to them. When the mobile phone is smashed and the network is closed, it will stimulate such children’s rebellious psychology and stronger curiosity about smart phones. A better way is for parents not to hang their heads all day playing with their mobile phones, but to turn off the home network skillfully, such as changing passwords, limiting traffic, limiting phone bills, and reading famous books on paper. Let children know that mobile phones are just tools and toys, and do not deny that mobile phones are getting more and more fun, but there are more exciting things in life. Parents should take their children to participate in colorful outdoor activities on rest days to divert their attention from mobile phones.

　　● Children’s voice

　　Hungry for respect, disgusted parents smash mobile phones.

　　Yangzi Evening News reporter also communicated with some middle school students. Some students also admitted that mobile phones are basically used for entertainment except making phone calls and finding answers. Sometimes parents will get angry with them after playing for an hour or two.

　　"I am more disgusted with my parents’ tough tone, and it is even more unacceptable to smash my mobile phone." Liu Tong Jr. said that sometimes it was late at night when he was playing with his mobile phone, and he knew that it was not good for him, but the momentum of his father rushing in made people sad.

　　Liu Tongxue Jr. said that even if he made a mistake, he hoped parents could communicate in an equal tone. "Confiscation when you come in is disrespect and distrust," Xiao Liu told reporters.

　　The teacher’s truth is in place, and the child’s voice should also be heard. But have you noticed that children are actually concerned about the same problem at a different level from us adults? They are more concerned about the attitude of parents when dealing with the use of mobile phones than whether they use the mobile phones themselves.

　　Therefore, we want to remind parents that every child has his own personality characteristics, and parents should consider their children’s situation comprehensively, find a communication method suitable for them, and handle this "mobile phone problem" well.

　　From Ode to Joy, Everything’s Fine to My Sister, every film and television work of "Brothers" involving the issue of son preference will always become the focus of public opinion.

　　—————

　　On April 10th, the total box office of the movie My Sister broke 600 million.

　　The story of My Sister takes place in a patriarchal family, and the relationship between brother and sister is estranged. However, after her parents died in a car accident, her sister "Enron" faced a dilemma: giving up her dream of developing in a big city and raising her younger brother "An Ziheng" by herself; Or let others adopt their younger brothers and pursue their own independent lives?

　　Sister’s entanglement and pain can be imagined. In some families, brothers and sisters who are determined by blood will feel resistant and alienated from each other.

　　From the TV series Ode to Joy and Everything is Fine to the movie My Sister, every film and television work of "Brothers" involving the issue of son preference will always become the focus of public opinion.

　　The reporter of China Youth Daily and China Youth Network interviewed several "sisters" in real life and the creator of My Sister. Some sisters refused to go to the cinema to be "abused" because of problems with their younger brothers; Some sisters, crying uncontrollably during the movie, went home and wrote a long diary to review the story with their younger brother for more than ten years; Some sisters decided to have a good chat with their parents and untie the knot.

　　My Sister is not just a multiple-choice question. Do "sisters" have to choose between independence and sacrifice? How should parents of two-child families establish a healthy and positive educational concept? Female growth, brotherhood, and the concept of two-child family education … … These are issues that we need to examine outside the film.

　　"Where am I from" is a problem that everyone can’t get rid of.

　　Yin Xi, a girl born after 1995, has a younger brother who is 7 years younger. At first, she was poked in tears by the trailer of My Sister. This kind of experience, experienced people will understand, self-knowledge, not one or two simple labels can be summarized.

　　"I think of going home in the winter vacation in the first grade of primary school. My parents claimed that they had picked up a younger brother from the hospital gate. At that time, I had no feeling at all about this sudden extra child, because he suddenly appeared in my life, and my parents didn’t give me any time to warm up and accept."

　　This kind of brotherhood came from "airborne" without warning, especially when Yin Xi was young, she spent a long time accepting the fact and "reconciling with herself".

　　"When I see the plot of" My Sister ",I will think of the night when I was unaccompanied from the first grade to the fifth grade of primary school. On the night of power failure, I read a book with a flashlight, and I was very sad why my mother took my brother to my grandmother’s house but ignored me; During a rainstorm, the water in front of the school reached my knees, and all the children next to me had adults’ backs. I refused my strange grandmother’s kindness and walked alone with an umbrella. When I got home, I found that my mother actually came back. While helping me change my socks, I asked why I didn’t let the people next to me hold me. "

　　Yin Xi was puzzled for many years about her position in her parents’ hearts and why her younger brother existed. She felt that her world had "no mother" for quite some time. When she was in junior high school, she was complaining that her younger brother had "taken away" her mother.

　　Yin Xi said frankly that after recognizing the fact of "stealing her mother", she once disliked her brother very much. Until Yin Xi went to college and returned to school during the winter vacation, he accidentally found his fifth-grade elementary school brother and secretly wrote on the mist in the mirror of the sink: "Goodbye, sister, can you leave later?" At that moment, Yin Xi felt a sad mood in her heart, reflecting that she didn’t seem to be a good sister, and her brother would miss her when she was not at home.

　　"It took me a long time to make up with myself. My mother didn’t want me, but my brother also needed care." Therefore, Yin Xi feels that Enron’s alienation and entanglement with his younger brother in My Sister is real, and his desire to protect his younger brother is also real.

　　You Xiaoying, the screenwriter of My Sister, said that she would pay more attention to the "family" element when creating. "I think it is possible for a person not to experience love or have children in his life, but ‘ Where do I come from ’ It’s hard to break free. You can choose your friends and lovers, but parents and children can’t choose, just like my uncle said ‘ Children are debts ’ This debt was doomed from the beginning. "

　　You Xiaoying said that family has a profound influence on a person, so she wants to discuss women’s situation and self-growth from this aspect and express "the collision between family fetters and personal pursuits".

　　A bowl of water is flat, and good family of origin helps us tide over the difficulties.

　　After 90, Gugu, a media person, is 6 years older than his younger brother. After watching My Sister, her colleagues ridiculed that Gugu is not like a "sister" in the traditional impression of the public, because the whole person "can’t see the feeling of sacrifice".

　　"Now some people’s views are a bit extreme, opposing women’s independence and sacrifice." Gugu thinks that when it comes to elder sister, many people either think of pathetic "helping the younger brother" or "selfish ghost" who is too self-centered. These two impressions are too rigid. Why can’t elder sister and younger brother live in harmony and develop independently of each other?

　　After work, Gugu, who is financially independent, bought his younger brother a computer as a gift, considering his learning needs. My girlfriend was deeply impressed by the generosity of Gugu and sent a circle of friends. As a result, her friend commented at the bottom: "Ah, is this sister Fan Shengmei in Ode to Joy?"

　　Gugu was quite helpless when he learned that: "Why do you label all your sisters with bitterness without any understanding?"

　　Gugu and his younger brother have always had a good relationship since childhood, and his younger brother likes to stick to himself when he is at home in primary school. Gugu middle school lives on campus and goes home once a week. When you get home, you will see your brother sitting at the door waiting for you.

　　"In the final analysis, the misfortune of Enron in My Sister comes from the wrong idea that parents prefer sons to daughters. My brother and I can have deep feelings all the way ‘ Priming ’ I would like to thank my parents for always insisting on a bowl of water, not treating my brother and sister differently, and not ignoring my emotional needs. " Gugu also saw that families with bad relations between their brothers and sisters often caused wars because of their parents’ "willful preferences", causing emotional troubles for innocent brothers and sisters out of thin air.

　　Whether a good and fair educational atmosphere is formed in family of origin is very important for the cultivation of healthy and sunny brotherhood. In family of origin, where the environment is good, children with brothers and sisters may be better able to take care of the feelings of all members, and learn to share the pressure of parents’ roles and the potential risks in the period of family instability earlier.

　　Yin Ruoxin, director of My Sister, said frankly: "Everyone’s family of origin can’t be perfect, but a good family of origin can really protect you. The impact of the problematic family of origin will grow on the body, and it doesn’t know when it will emerge. "

　　In Yin Ruoxin’s view, family of origin’s influence can only be solved in a completely corresponding way. "When you are older, you will form a close relationship yourself, and then you will be able to solve those problems, but it is also possible that these traces will always be there."

　　You Xiaoying also believes that a good family of origin can help us to get through the hard times and cheer up.

　　"I have some friends, you think she is a completely independent woman, live very self, but she will find how many traces of family of origin in a moment. Family of origin’s shaping of character is still very profound, sometimes when you are unconscious. " You Xiaoying said.

　　Sisters independently do multiple-choice questions in life

　　Yoga Yu refused to go to the cinema to see My Sister — — Her younger brother is rebellious, and he is favored by his parents (focusing on the issue of education funds), so Yoga Yu foresees that watching movies is an act of "self-abuse".

　　However, Yoga Yu went to read the relevant comments in Douban and Weibo. She said that at this stage, I am afraid that I can’t solve the relationship problem with my younger brother, and the relationship with my parents is also "dark clouds rolling" from time to time, but she doesn’t want to be deeply entangled in the dilemma, which is tantamount to wasting time and emotions. It is better to actively live a good life in a big city and work hard for her career.

　　Yoga Yu firmly believes that no matter whether the relationship between elder sister and younger brother is hot or cold, the first priority is to stick to the path you want, which does not conflict with anything.

　　In the Douban review of My Sister, a "younger brother" said that he felt indebted to his sister. "As men and younger brothers, what can we do for our sisters? Perhaps we should start by respecting their will, understanding their plight and supporting their voices! "

　　It is undoubtedly commendable that "My Sister" directly pokes the pain point of the topic of "independent growth of women".

　　In the film, the role that forms a strong sense of dramatic contrast with Enron is the aunt. After Enron’s parents passed away, my aunt was the first to stand up and say the words "eldest sister is like a mother", telling Enron that the most important task now is to bring up his younger brother. This "moral kidnapping" is naturally easy to cause extreme discomfort.

　　Later, the audience found out that my aunt was the "elder sister" who was forced to sacrifice herself in the previous generation. She once dreamed in the distance, but now she can only read Russian to Russian dolls to pay homage to the youth destroyed by the words "eldest sister is like a mother".

　　You Xiaoying pointed out that the kindness of my aunt’s nature in the movie was suppressed by the daily necessities of life, but when Enron inspired her inner things, my aunt actually hoped that Enron could replace her to complete the image of a rebel. She saw another possibility in Enron’s life and didn’t want to stop it.

　　Arranging the dialogue between two generations of "sisters", You Xiaoying thought of the image of "Taowa". "Finally my aunt said ‘ Dolls don’t have to be put into the same condom, and they have to go their own way ’ It means that you can have your own life choices, and you don’t have to follow the path planned by everyone like your aunt. This is my aunt’s love and understanding of Enron. "

　　The ending of the movie is open, and there is no clear answer. Sisters outside the movie still have to do every question in life.

　　Yin Xi said that her younger brother, who is now in the third year of high school, "quietly grew up" in her invisible time. One of them is that under her influence, my brother is determined to pursue his dream of life independently, instead of reaching out to his parents for a better life. People need independence. Parents have paid a lot to raise themselves. The future involves personal problems. Parents help you because they love you, not because they have to. After all, you are an adult.

　　Gugu, who lives and works in a big city by her own ability, is also pleasantly surprised to find that her younger brother’s habits and values are subtly influenced by her. "Sisters always give priority to their own lives. If they have independent sisters, they will have independent brothers".

　　(At the request of the interviewee, Yin Xi, Gu Gu and Yoga Yu are pseudonyms)

　　Zhongqingbao Zhongqingwang reporter Shen Jiequn

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Intimacy plays an extremely important role in most people’s lives. But even the same pursuit of love, what everyone wants from an intimate relationship is different.

So, what do you pursue in love? Last week, we collected this question from everyone and received many people’s different understandings of love. Let’s have a look. Is there the one you are looking for?

01.

Loyalty, incomparable loyalty.

I am not a person who puts such characteristics as loyalty and singleness in the first place, and I never use a certain standard to ask each other. But after two times of betrayal and deception in my feelings, I realized that loyalty is a very important standard for me, but I used to regard it as a "default" condition. However, not everyone obeys this principle by default in their feelings like me. So, I began to regard this loyalty as my first emotional standard. If you can’t do it, don’t both.

02.

I hope that I can be a listener and confidante with my lover, and share my experiences and feelings all my life. When you see fireworks and puppies, send them to each other as soon as possible or save them in a mobile phone photo album for him to see. When chatting, you spit and cry without scruple, and never hide the darkness and fragility.

03.

What I pursue in love is a unique passion and a long-flowing romance. Whether it is passionate love when I was young or companionship when I was old, the spark of love is different and gorgeous every day, and every bit of life exudes a romantic atmosphere.

04.

I’ve always longed for a close diamond cut diamond love.

My predecessor and friends around me say that I am sometimes too strong, and I admit it. My personality seems to be more suitable for a typical relationship of "women are strong and men are weak", but I am partial. I know myself. Only when the other person is really strong and confident, let me appreciate and admire from the heart and feel pressure at the same time, will I stay in this relationship with satisfaction. I wonder if I can meet such a person again?

05.

I only pursue passionate and short-lived romance and passion in love. I don’t believe in long-term love. I believe those love stories that are full of daily necessities, but I deeply doubt whether such feelings can be called love in the end.

What I want is the purest love, even if it is only for a few hours. I don’t want to last long, just love.

06.

Eager to be seen.

After many years of marriage, he never ignored my efforts and all my living habits and preferences. Is it because he is a science and engineering man?

After reading "My fragrance", I doubt whether this marriage is really worth it.

07.

As soon as I say it, you will understand. Or, you’ll understand before I tell you.

08.

I am extremely looking forward to a person who can give me justice! This fairness is for my personal feelings, not the kind of fairness that both sides come and go.

I always measure whether I am more happy or unhappy when I am in love, because I think the essence of love is also a trade-off. The accumulation of positive emotions is gain, and the accumulation of negative emotions is loss. When I lose too much, I must stop loss in time. Therefore, there will be a balance in my heart. When unhappiness is obviously more important than happiness, I will break up even if I endure the pain. After all, my happiness is the most important.

Don’t say anything like "Are you happy for each other’s happiness?". When you fall in love with your brain in the early stage, you may take pleasure in sacrificing yourself to fulfill each other, but in the long run, something will happen.

09.

What I have been pursuing is to be myself with ease and peace of mind.

10.

In love, I feel that I am eager to be loved. Maybe it’s because of family of origin that she has become very fond of her brain and is changing, because it’s really not good.

11.

Tacit understanding. Always speak in unison or say what the other person wants to say.

12.

What I pursue in love is the little happiness in plain life. I can wake up every night to tuck me in, go home from work and run into the kitchen to finish the housework I’m too lazy to do, wake up in the morning and deliberately scratch me like a kitten’s paw, and then run away. Like a child in front of me, I can go all out for my career and be my strongest backing when I am anxious. There are so many warm things at ordinary times that I can’t remember them at the moment. In short, when I think of him, I will laugh, from the heart.

13.

I hope both of us can remain sincere. Give love sincerely, express it sincerely, face yourself sincerely, and treat this feeling sincerely.

14.

What if you don’t even want to pursue love?

15.

Absolute honesty and trust. Maybe it’s too idealistic, but I want both sides to be naked and unreserved in a relationship, not mindless, but to give their backs to each other completely and enjoy the rainbow together through thick and thin.

16.

What I pursue in love is tolerance and attention.

I am a person who can’t take care of myself and has a lot of small temper. I need my partner to tolerate and accept my living habits, take care of me like my parents and make me happy. At the same time, I also need a lot of attention, and I need him to respond every time when I seek attention, and I can provide some interesting suggestions when I am bored. Although my current partner is not the same as my checklist, he is patient, tolerant and responsive. I can be happy every day and have more energy to focus on what I like.

17.

I want a friend who can talk to me and always talk to me. Passion in love is often unsustainable. Compared with lovers, it is better to be close friends who can talk about life philosophy from poetry and songs.

18.

Absolute possession, absolute freedom

Possession means that we all know clearly that "you are mine". Freedom means that we have independent space and time for each other.

19.

I always hope to find a partner who can share my views, discuss various topics and even debate with me. I am a typical "broad but not refined" person, who knows a lot and is interested in everything, but rarely stays in a pit for a long time. So I hope to find such a person, so that I can share and discuss with her at any time. It would be better if I can hold different views. I prefer to seek common ground while reserving differences, and I can respect each other while developing our ideas.

20.

I want a comfortable relationship. When I get along with each other, I don’t need too much scheming. I can say whatever I want and do whatever I want. I can be myself with confidence and boldness. The other party likes my advantages and can tolerate my minor faults, so both of them can feel comfortable and at ease in the unique magnetic field.

21.

I pursue a partner who can empathize with me and always support me.

I have a lot of thoughts in my feelings, and I am a sensitive person. Sometimes I cry easily. Even my parents sometimes can’t understand my emotions and behaviors. Therefore, I hope my future partner will be a person with strong empathy and can give me affirmation and comfort when I am sensitive and fragile.

Probably it is also a sensitive reason. Although I have a lot of ideas, I am often not confident. I gave up as soon as others persuaded me to quit. But if someone around me can give me a little affirmation, I will actually rush. I hope my partner can be such a person who will support my decision when I am not firm and let me realize my ideas more freely.

22.

That conviction and peace of mind. Even if you don’t reply to the information in time, you won’t be too worried or angry; Will share interesting news and photos in the first time; When good dishes are served, they will be fed without opening their mouths; Don’t stick together, do what you like, and come and ask for a hug from time to time … Good love should not make you anxious.

23.

Why do you have to pursue something in love? I think every relationship in my past has its own unique bright spot. The reasons why I love everyone and cherish every relationship are also different, and there is nothing I pursue in my relationship.

KY author said:

When I was a teenager, I thought about the meaning of love to people. Later, when I grew up, I found that this question had no meaning at all, because there was no fixed standard answer, only the best answer for everyone.

Just like the answer sheet of life, each has its own reasons and its own wonderful things. Quantifiable standards such as money, status and life span are not worthy of being measured.

However, the appearance of various voices and answers is not to disturb the audience, but to provide a "reference answer", a possibility of "not yet seen".

We put the answers on the table, surround and examine them, like going shopping in the mall to buy shoes, holding them over and over in our hands, and trying to put them on for two steps. I can see that it is infinitely good in the future, and I can also see the bad things that need to be endured behind the glamorous fantasy. Then I finally decided, "Well, that’s it" or "Let’s see".

In any case, the choices you make have to be borne by yourself, just like the shoes you buy are put on your feet. You may not notice whether they look good or not, but only you know whether they are comfortable or not.

I hope we can all know what we want, find what we want, and what we want is the most suitable.

In the concept of dating, Shanghai girl Zhou Jie is indeed a bit "crazy". Under the traditional mindset of marriage equality and matching, Zhou Jie’s road to marriage seems to be getting narrower and narrower. With the increasing age and persistence in the inherent concept of mate selection, Zhou Jie has been "single". Looking at Zhou Jie, who is too high to be low, the girlfriends who are in a hurry have "pulled" her to his interest! Girlfriends think that so many people have successfully found the right partner in their own interests. How can Zhou Jie not?

To tell the truth, although Zhou Jie has always had some difficulties in making friends in marriage and love, and her personality and feelings have always been somewhat cold, she has a well-off family and a rich life working as a dance teacher, which can be called "high quality" in all aspects. No matter in his family in the same city or in his live broadcast room, Zhou Jie’s interaction with her friends will always show her high artistic talent and always attract the attention of many opposite sex. There are more and more opposite sex who take the initiative to chat up Zhou Jie in his interest, but Zhou Jie doesn’t seem to "call" them.

Including Zhou Jie herself and her girlfriends, no one expected the opportunity of true love to come. One day, a young man from Yunnan named Yang Hui finally let Zhou Jie "fall" in love. The two people were introduced to each other automatically by the system through his interesting voice speed matching function. Zhou Jie likes Yang Huifu’s magnetic voice, which is gentle and special. In the following interactive communication, Zhou Jie learned that Yang Hui came from a small town in Yunnan and worked hard in Shanghai alone for many years. She was particularly smart and motivated. Although family background, education and appearance are not as good as Zhou Jie’s, many of Yang Hui’s ideas and attitudes towards some things are surprisingly consistent. Their sense of tacit understanding and mutual understanding make them deeply attracted to each other at the same time.

Every day, there are endless topics to talk about in his interest, and there will be endless happiness when he is with him. Zhou Jie is more and more aware that marriage equality, door-to-door matching and so on are not the whole of true love. Love doesn’t have to be born in the same background, but based on the spiritual harmony and mutual understanding. In this relationship, Zhou Jie and Yang Hui changed each other and grew together. Two people choose each other, Zhou Jie has changed the traditional concept of marriage and love, and the small town guy has also achieved the counterattack of marrying a Shanghai girl.

As a dating service platform that has been committed to building efficient ice-breaking, high-frequency interaction and multi-interest links for single young people, the real high rate of single-off-order of Taqu APP is an accurate cut-in to the actual single-off demand of single groups, and on the other hand, technology empowers single groups to intelligently match the needs of the other half, which greatly reduces the time cost and energy input cost of single young people in finding the right other half, and it is easy to find the right other half in Taqu APP.

　　Food, clothing, housing and transportation are the basic needs of life, among which "living" is regarded as just needed by many people. These two days, there was an interesting meeting, which was closely related to "living".

　　The video and telephone conference on accelerating the development of affordable rental housing and further improving the regulation of the real estate market held on the 22nd reiterated that the house should be used for living, not for speculation, and the real estate should not be used as a short-term means to stimulate the economy.

　　The positioning of "staying in the house and not speculating" continued to consolidate, which made many people eat "reassuring".

　　The picture shows a commercial house near Madang Road in Shanghai. Xinhua News Agency reporter Chen Fei photo

　　Whether buying a house, renting a house or building a house, it is inseparable from money. Therefore, real estate finance is a key link in the implementation of "housing without speculation".

　　In recent years, China has accelerated the establishment and improvement of a long-term mechanism for real estate financial management, especially under the guidance of the "three lines and four files" rule and the real estate loan concentration management system, many housing enterprises have become more cautious and self-disciplined, and the concentration of real estate loans and personal housing loans of banking financial institutions has steadily decreased.

　　In June, the sales price increase of commercial housing in 70 large and medium-sized cities showed a steady and declining trend as a whole; At the same time, at the end of June, the growth rate of RMB real estate loans in China dropped by 2.2 percentage points from the end of last year.

　　It can be seen that the regulatory policies, including real estate financial policies, have been effective, the real estate credit environment in some cities has changed, and the price increase has stabilized.

　　What is the "sharp weapon" that can make regulation so immediate? How do the "three lines and four gears" rule and the real estate loan concentration management system play a role? Come and get to know it.

　　To promote the stable and healthy development of the real estate market, first of all, real estate enterprises need to be healthy. However, some real estate enterprises are greedy for perfection and blindly expand, and the financial indicators of core operations are "red light", which also leads to the phenomenon of high leverage and high debt in the real estate industry.

　　In order to enhance the marketization, regularity and transparency of financing for real estate enterprises, in August last year, the People’s Bank of China, the Ministry of Housing and Urban-Rural Development and relevant departments formed the fund monitoring and financing management rules for key real estate enterprises, that is, the "three lines and four files" rules.

　　The "three lines" are actually "three red lines", which specifically refer to: the asset-liability ratio is greater than 70%, the net debt ratio is greater than 100%, and the cash short-term debt ratio is less than 1 times after excluding advance payments.

　　According to the situation of stepping on the line, real estate enterprises are divided into four grades: red, orange, yellow and green: the scale of interest-bearing liabilities of "red-file" enterprises cannot be higher than the existing level; The annual growth rate of interest-bearing liabilities of "orange file" enterprises shall not exceed 5%; "Yellow file" enterprises shall not exceed 10%; "Green file" enterprises shall not exceed 15%.

　　With a clear "three lines and four gears", housing enterprises must meet the corresponding requirements and constantly optimize financial indicators if they want to raise funds. This is equivalent to a "physical examination" of the financial health of housing enterprises to help them better improve their financial management.

　　Behind health is self-discipline. When the financing behavior of housing enterprises is more prudent and self-disciplined, the overall operation tends to be stable. Having tasted the sweetness, more and more real estate enterprises have joined the ranks of "self-discipline". At the beginning of the pilot, the central bank selected 12 representative real estate enterprises as the pilot targets, and at the beginning of this year it expanded to 30 real estate enterprises with large debts.

　　Zou Lan, director of the Financial Market Department of the People’s Bank of China, said that the "three-line and four-gear" rule is effective from the situation and reactions from all walks of life in the past year. The three core operating financial indicators of the pilot enterprises, namely, asset-liability ratio, net debt ratio and short-term cash debt ratio, have obviously improved, and the debt scale has steadily declined. Many other real estate enterprises outside the pilot also actively benchmark the rules and optimize their own business practices.

　　The picture shows a qionghai city resident passing by an advertising slogan in front of a bank. Xinhua news agency

　　In addition to keeping an eye on the demand side, financing management cannot ignore the supply side. In addition to monitoring and managing the liabilities of housing enterprises, the People’s Bank of China also strengthens the management of banking financial institutions — — Formulate the management system of real estate loan concentration.

　　The system sets "two red lines" for the balance of real estate loans and the balance of personal housing loans for different types and sizes of banking institutions. The former ranges from 40% to 12.5%, while the latter ranges from 32.5% to 7.5%.

　　As the saying goes, eggs can’t be put in one basket. Bank credit should also focus on structural optimization, which is not only related to the risk of the institution itself, but also of great significance to the healthy and steady development of the whole economy.

　　Since the implementation of the system, the concentration of real estate loans and personal housing loans of banking financial institutions has steadily decreased. The data shows that at the end of June, the growth rate of China’s real estate development loan balance and personal housing loan balance dropped by 3.3 and 1.6 percentage points respectively compared with the end of the previous year.

　　In Zou Lan’s view, while the real estate loan business is subject to certain constraints, commercial banks have put more energy into supporting small and micro, "agriculture, rural areas and farmers" and other weak economic links, while the proportion of loans in key areas such as manufacturing and technological innovation has been improved.

　　The data shows that at the end of June, the balance of China’s Pratt & Whitney small and micro loans increased by 31% year-on-year, and the growth rate was 18.7 percentage points higher than that of various loans in the same period; The balance of medium and long-term loans in manufacturing industry increased by 41.6% year-on-year, and the growth rate was 16.9 percentage points higher than the same period of last year.

　　The People’s Bank of China said that the next step will continue to adhere to the positioning that houses are used for living, not for speculation, implement a long-term real estate mechanism, constantly improve the "three lines and four files" rules and the centralized management system of real estate loans, do a good job in policy implementation, improve the resilience and stability of the financial system, and promote the balanced development of finance, real estate and the real economy.

　　To firmly grasp the key of real estate finance, we must continue to strictly implement the "sharp weapon" of regulation and control, manage the supply and demand ends of real estate finance, and make the regulation and control policies more precise, which will not only accurately crack down on real estate speculation, but also better meet the needs. (Reporter Wu Yu)